Support trip!!

I'm in Spartanburg, South Carolina right now. This is the place where I have spent the last four years of my life, going to College. I have grown to love this place, and it's quiet town feel. I have missed the people here. It's different though coming back in the summer for just a short time. I am here for a couple of reasons, one is to visit my Grandparents for a few days, and the second is to try to make some more connections and work on support raising for my internship in the Fall.

God has been doing some pretty amazing stuff in my life this summer through all of this support raising process and through my recent trip to S. Korea!! I can't even begin to describe all that He is doing, I do not understand all of it yet. He has begun a healing process in my life as I have begun to walk down the road of completely trusting Him with who I am and with my dreams and life. Some days it is almost to much, someone along the way forgot to tell me that refining by the fire hurts this much. But it is sooo worth every tear and every moment of vulnerability and pain. All along the way I have seen his glory, seen his grace and his love in ever increasing measures. It is a joy and a better understanding of who He is and who He has created me to be that I would not trade for anything. Not even for an easier road.

He has been showing me a lot of this as I traveled in the car to get to Spartanburg and as I have been here. If you read this, would you please pray with me that God continues to humble my heart, make me like a child so I can trust him more, and continue the healing of my heart. Please also pray that he would work in miraculous ways and bring in the rest of my support by August 22nd. I know this is where he wants me for this next year, and I am trusting that he will get me there or show me another path.

It never ceases to amaze me how much God truly loves me and desires to fill my every dream! He knows better than I ever could just what I need each and every moment of the day!

God is SOOO GOOD!!!

This is a new thing I just got, I am hoping to use this site to keep people updated on what God does in my life in the next year and where he takes me. I have posted some things from my old Blog. Just so you have a small idea of where I am at or where I've been. I hope to tell you soon all about my recent trip to South Korea! Enjoy reading!!

I'm Back... and much has changed.
So I haven't written on this blog in over a year really. A lot has happened in that time. A lot has changed in my life. For a while I actually forgot my password to this blog so I couldn't do anything with it. You may notice that I have changed the look a little. It is a time of new beginnings and fresh starts for me.
I have graduated from college finally and currently have no plans to do any further schooling, at least not for this next year. I have started the process of joining staff with Campus Crusade for Christ and will be doing an internship for this next year at their Headquarters here in Orlando. I am excited about this opportunity but a little scared of all the new things to come. This summer I have started raising my support for this internship and taken a huge trip. I was blessed by God with the amazing chance to travel with my parents to South Korea for a Historic Global Student Missions conference put on by CCC. CM2007!!! This conference and the experiences I was able to have there while serving with 150 international volunteers to help work the conference have changed and shaped my perspective on what the Lord is doing around the world! We live in an exciting time, so much more has been accomplished for the gospel in my generation than all those coming before. The fields are truly ripe for harvest and Jesus is calling forth his laborers to send out into the world. And I am raising my hand saying, "Send me Lord, Here am I." But what this will look like in my life, and where this will take me has yet to be seen. It is a journey that will bring more change, more adventure.
God has continued to keep me single for now. There are days when this is a struggle that causes me to run more to Him. There are other days though when I know his love more than ever and feel satisfied with whatever he has for me. It is still the desire of my heart and my prayer to Him that he, in his infinite timing and wisdom, would bring a man into my life. I strongly desire to be married one day and have a family. But most importantly I want to be able to serve in ministry who ever God has for me. Until that time comes though I need to learn ever more how to be satisfied with him alone and how to serve him well in my single days! Father I pray that I would be an instrument, a tool, in your hands, a willing servant, no matter where you have me or what you have me doing!
Please pray with me also that as I develop my team of ministry partners, both prayer and financial partners, that I would have a right perspective and that I would always trust God to provide what sometimes seems so impossible! He is more than I could ever dream for and all that my Heart and life truly desires and he has called me to share Him with those around me, those who do not know Him! How truly blessed am I.
Thank you for reading this, and may God truly touch your life as well and fill you with His love. As my new friend Tae puts it "I hope you live by faith every single day/// walk with his Promise… may His peace and wisdom be with You!!"

This is my new roommate and I at her Sophomore Ring Ceremony. Isn't she pretty!! It is a lot more fun having a roommate than living by yourself. Let me just say the the first part of this semester and last fall was rather lonely. A roommate helps make a room feel full and alive. The fact that we look alike is really only a strange coincidence. A rather funny one though. Just thought I'd share this picture with everyone. 

Reflections

Wow I haven't updated this thing in a really long time. There is so much that has happened in my life since this past fall. I will try to list a few of the big things. These past couple of months has been a time of many big decisions. I finished off last semester with a bang pulling all A's in my classes but feeling frustrated and ready to be done with college at the same time. I even went so far as to calculate that if I pushed it a little for the next two semesters I could graduate early and be done in Dec. '06. But this of course would cut my senior year of college short and I would also not be able to do many of the things that I love doing because I would not be there for the full year. So after some prayer and much thought and the much needed Christmas break I decided against this option. But one good thing has come out of calculating credit hours and classes needed and stuff. I learned that I can take the bare minimum credit hours each semester required to stay a full time student and still have just over enough to graduate. Plus for my major I only have to take one class a semester, for my minor I just need one class a semester and that leaves all my other classes each semester for me to have some fun with. My only other two requirements are one more honors course and one more general science class for GEP credit. I am working on my junior paper for history this spring and will do my senior history paper in the fall. This leaves the rest of my college career relatively pressureless, academically speaking and I can take classes for things that I am interested in and really enjoy. Like this semester I am taking Drawing 1 so I can learn to draw, and I love it.
I have often found it hard for me to pick just one specific area of study that I love or feel more strongly about than another. History is definitely both a joy and something that I have a talent in. But I also just as strongly enjoy Physics and scientific thinking. And on a totally different end of the spectrum I also really enjoy art and music and appreciate greatly the development of these fields. I feel a theme for my life could be balance or well roundedness; I strive to use and exorcise both sides of my brain! This is probably why I enjoy history so much because it is able to bring a lot of these things together. You can study the history of almost anything and in the process learn a great deal about it. But I didn't come into college wanting to do history, nope; I came in wanting to do Interior Design. And in high school I had strong thoughts about possibly going into the military and doing nuclear physics and engineering with the Navy or being a navy pilot. I even took the ASVAB just to see what I would get and I made a 96. Probably the most fun standardized test I have ever taken. Thank you Dad, for teaching me some mechanics and about cars and helping me to get my HAM radio license.
But see this is where I start having problems, I love and have a little bit of knowledge about a lot of things, just enough to get by decently in a conversation or on a test. I have an uncanny ability to remember stuff that I have read about, even in casual reading. But there is not one thing that sticks out in my life that I love doing more or am more talented or good at than anything else I can do if I put my mind to it. History, as I start on this junior paper and through the enthusiasm and mentorship of my professor has slowly begun to stand out from the rest and be something that I can actually see myself pursuing, maybe even to teach. I still don’t feel a strong enough calling to it to go to grad school or anything though, but I could see myself taking this training and being a pseudo historian!! That would be fun.
Of course the biggest calling on my life is to go into full time missions overseas. I know that this is what the Lord has called me to. But what I am supposed to do in the mean time or the path that my life will take to get there is still very hazy. There are so many things that I have yet to experience and dreams yet to be fulfilled or tried out. I long to be married, have a family, and be the supporter of my husbands ministry, where ever and what ever that may be. To be a mother and to be a strong role model is a desire that I pray that the Lord will grant me someday. But for the moment I know that I have a lot of learning and growing to do before I am ready for the task. So I wait patiently as slowly the path before me becomes clear with each step of faith that is taken.

First Love...

How easy it is to lose your "first love."
"We are warned in Revelation 2:4 about losing our 'first love.' We should guard against taking our love relationship for granted. The solution is given in Revelation 2:5 to 'remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.' " ~Nancy Wilson in First Love.

Pinkies up ladies! Aubusien girls this is my shout out to you!! I can't wait for Christmas when the tea parties can begin again!!

DBSP '05

"The heart has its reasons that reason knows not of." -Blaise Pascal

Reflected in the beauty of the sunset is the splendor of God! Every moment changing, each second a radiant display of colour and light that takes your breath away.

10 weeks spent immersed in the Love of God, surrounded by 77 others who glorify His name. Learning and teaching each other about His grace. Sharing together times that will change the course of your life. Being accountable and holding others accountable. Seeing the sunrise over the ocean and sunset over the river.

Having a blast and sharing the Love of God with others at the same time. Slicing meat, making beds, serving customers, saving lives, and cutting grass all for the Glory of God. Teaching Sunday School, being adopted by a church family, and growing together as you serve the community as the Body of Christ.

D-Group times, FD times, ministry teams that stretch you, going out to eat together, thrift store shopping, taking walks on the beach, playing soccer and volleyball together, dancing the night away in the most ridiculous outfits.

Family group dinners spent listening to Rick laugh at everything, except Sarah's jokes!

Learning to juggle time and allowing God to fill every aspect of your life, a lesson that will carry you for the rest of your life.

Endless hours spent sharing from your heart with close friends, praying together, singing together and learning together.

Going to work in the mornings (or afternoon's) and knowing that God is with you and that you are there to shine His light to the people you work with. Seeing them changed and their faces brighter because of the love that you share with them.

Going to a Nascar race, sitting on the SuperStretch, getting rained on, joining the betting pool for a dollar and getting number 19, who comes in 12th place, watching the best fireworks show of your life, and getting back at 3:30 in the morning when you have to be at church at 9am!

Prayer on the Beach at 6am, worship on the beach at 10pm.

Staff Scavanger Hunt at the Boardwalk!

Meeting and forming friendships with some of the most Godly and awesome guys you'll ever meet and seeing God work through them in powerful ways!

This and sooooo much more was my summer. The best summer of my life, one that I will never forget. Friendships that will always be dear to my heart and times that will continue to shape me for the rest of my life. God has showed me His love, His grace, His Joy, and His forgiveness this summer. He has revealed to me thru His Spirit his hand that is upon my life and has shown me how he has been with me and in my heart since I was 5 years old. He truly has never left me nor forsaken me. Even in my times of doubt, my times of rebellion and my times of brokenness He has been working in my heart. Molding me and teaching me, creating me into the Woman of God that He has made me to be. Everything that He has done in my life up until now, and everything that He continues to do has been preparing me to do the work that He has called me to, to be able to stand up for His name and spread His truth and grace to those around me whom He has placed in my path. I know this now and I am willing and prepared to answer this call!

My Summer!!! Daytona Beach Summer Project!!! I will never be the same again!!!

"The heart has its reasons that reason knows not of." -Blaise Pascal

Two Songs of the Day that express how I feel right now...

Alone

by LADS

I am alone in the darkness

Can You hear me now

Are You the same

Or are You different somehow

Can You reach me

Can I be sure that You won't hurt me

If I let You in

Are You the same

Or are You different somehow

Can I trust You

-

If I gave You my heart

If I gave You my soul

Would You take me apart

Would You make me whole

-

Do You know my name

When the tears fall are You there to feel the pain

Can You reach me here

Can you give me what I'm looking for

Can You take away the fear

Can I trust You

-

They say that You could come and meet me

Are You really there

Are You the same or are You different somehow

Can You love me

-

If I gave You my heart

If I gave You my soul

Would You take me apart

Would You make me whole

-

Do You know my name

When the tears fall are You there to feel the pain

Can You reach me here

Can You give me what I'm looking for

Can You take away the fear

Can I trust You

--

--

Coming Home

by LADS

There was a day when I could say

That I'll be alright

But I'm not alright today

There was a time when I could find

You right by my side

But You're not here beside me now

-

And I don't know how

I walked out that door

To the stone cold world

Left You waiting for me to come home

-

There was a day when I could say

That it doesn't matter

But it matters now

There was a time when I could find

A million excuses

But there's nothing for me to say

-

Except I'm away

Away from the voice that's been calling me

And I know that it's time to come home

-

I'm coming home

Home to Your open arms

Home, forgive me I've gone too far

I'm coming home

I've tried but I just can't live

Without You any more

-

I thought that I could live my life

Much better without You

So I turned away

And it seems I chased the dreams

I thought that I wanted

Without You around

-

But it's all fallen down

I'm left with the sound of my emptiness

Now I'm scared to give all of my life away

Still I come, I'm undone in this broken state

And I yearn for Your love that I don't deserve

Now it's time for Your child to come home

-

I'm coming home

Home to Your open arms

Home, forgive me I've gone too far

I'm coming home

I've tried but I just can't live

Without You any more

Finals are coming up soon, one week of classes left. That means that Summer Project is that much closer. I'm beginning to get more excited about it but I know I can't let myself really think about it until I am finished with school. I got all my support in, which is such a blessing from God!! But in all of this great stuff thats going on around me and happening, I really don't feel all that happy. I'm not joyful right now. I really feel like all this college stuff is rather pointless in the grand scheme of things. Why can't I get on with living my life right now instead of having to wait two more years before I can travel the world and go into the mission field full time. I guess I'm just having a lot of doubts right now about what I'm supposed to be doing right now. I'm starting to doubt my major and the school I chose. I'm wondering if it's too late to change anything or if it's all pointless now. I'm unsure of whether my doubts are even founded or if it's just me going thru a phase again. I guess I'm just disatisfied with alot of things right now and one of those things is myself and my walk with God.
It will all be over soon, whether I survive it in one piece or not. And then I'll have an awesome summer and God will refresh me, because I'm tired of where I'm at right now, and I don't want to stay here. It's just a little hard to see my way out at times.
God please hold my hand for a little bit longer... lift me up out of the mess I'm in... of the mess I've made of my heart and my soul... piece me back together again to serve your purposes and your Glory!!