Sorry that it has been so long since I last blogged. Things have been getting a little busier around here as we head in to Thanksgiving break and then the end of the term and Christmas break. Only three more weeks till I get to go home finally. Just for a general update, I am doing much better than I was the last time I blogged. I'm having some quiet times with God again. And I'm staying busy with school work. Trying not to get behind anymore. I have a big research paper due on Dec. 9th as my final but I really don't want to end up putting it off till the last minute. Which I do way to much of!!
ANYways, schools going pretty good, can't wait for it to be over. I registered for classes the other week and it was really nice and easy. Unlike my friend Katie's experience at UF. Academic Advising 101 you should check it out, and sympathize with her.
That is one of the things that I love about a small college. I have my academic advisor that I make an apointment with. I went to see her, she sat down with me at the computer and asked what classes i was looking at. I told her what I was thinking about, I had done some research about what was available online. We then clicked on the courses that I wanted and if they weren't available looked at others. Everything needed for registration is online and available to the students. As freshman we are required to go through our advisors. Prof. Prater is really nice, she works in the art department, but they make sure that all the advisors know about the General Ed requirements and are there to help you figure out what you want to do. Another thing about it being a small college is that they know where you need to go if you have a certain question and very rarely will you get the run around. After taking ten to fifteen minutes to register I left her office very satisfied. I am thinking about majoring in Education, probably elementary. and I want to minor in Physics. So she told me to go see someone in the education department to discuss the track that I would need to take to go about doing that.

I don't know if any of this is making any sense but it was all very easily done. And this past tuesday I met one of the education department heads at a luncheon and he said I could come see him anytime, his office is just done the hall from one of my other classes. And to get started with education, and to see if that's what I want to do all I have to do is take the Foundations of American Education course which he teaches. I love getting answers to my questions.

And at the same time, my Am. Lit. professor is trying to convince me to be an English major. Do you think that I could be an Elementary Education major, an English major and a Physics minor. That sounds like a lot of stuff to me. maybe we'll have to think about this a little bit more. Who knows what could happen.
Well after taking you through all of this I guess I should tell you what classes I signed up for.

For Winter term:
Personal Finance: based on Biblical Principals
Film history
For Spring term:
Intro to ROTC
Basics of ROTC
Modern European History
Elem. German II
Christian Traditions- a religions course
I'm looking forward to taking these classes. the sound pretty exciting. Well I have to run to class now. I'll write more later. There is an issue I wish to write my opinion about, and I think I will let my voice be heard. Have a great Friday. Four more days till Thanksgiving Break!!!

Heart ache continued...

Well I woke up this morning, went to breakfast and had a belgium waffle, started out in a pretty good mood, I got my German homework done last night and finally came up with something to write my paper on. I came back to the room and as my roommate was getting ready for class I decided to turn my computer on and check my e-mail. Well I first play around putting some music on that I want Sarah to hear and then I look at my inbox. I got an e-mail from my dad but the Subject is "sad news from Lesotho". now I know this can't be good. I was just there this summer, what could have happened between then and now. Well this is what the message read...

Hi Jessica,
Wes sent some sad news from Lesotho. I'm glad we got to see 'Me Mabene in August.
Love, Dad

Dear Atherton family,

We thought you would want to know that 'Memabene (sp?) died last week from cancer. She was diagnosed with a stomach cancer 6 months ago and was undergoing chemo in Bloem.

Sorry for the sad news.

Other news .. there was a fire in Roma. The complete row of shops in front of the Univ. was burned down. Ashley was insured for the contents of his store but the store itself is no longer useful.

Wes

Well your probably wondering who 'Me Mabene is. She was our maid in Lesotho. She would help mom around the house, watch me and Laura when mom and dad were gone and even clean our room when mom had told her to leave it alone so that we could clean it!!! She just couldn't stand the mess that we would leave!! She was kind of a part of the family. When I went back this summer we got to go up to her house to visit her. We knew that she had cancer and had had surgery and was taking chemo therapy, but I though she was going to be okay and she was getting better. Maybe it was just my little mind holding on to something I didn't want to let go of or accept. She would make dolls and sell them at the market, and we have several of them. On of them is wearing a wedding dress and she used an old flower button off of one of my dresses as the bouquet for it.

I've already missed one class this morning cause I'm still crying over it, but I can't miss my next one. Life just seems to be going done hill from here. And about the Thorns store that burned. I was just there this summer too. And I bought a hat and gloves there because it was really cold. I hope that they can rebuild and it will be okay. Well I have to go to class now. so I better suck it up for now.

Cracked Heart

Last weekend, fall break went great. My mom was here and my wisdom teeth surgery went well. I got to go shopping with her and hang out at my grandparents for the whole weekend. I also got my homework done. its now the begining of another long week to come. As my roommate keeps saying only two weeks and two days till thanksgiving break. I had writen a blog earlier about my wonderful Friday but it got deleted and I'm no longer in that happy mood to write about it. Lets just say that one of my classes got canceled and I got to go to a concert in the music building and I also got to go see a bunch of really funny skits and dances.

This week has been 1889 week, which is a celebration of the colleges founding in 1889. It's filled with a lot of different competitions between the classes. The week ends with a semi-formal dance on Sat. night. I went with a group of girlfriends and it was really interesting. I half to say that it was my first experience at a college party. Drinking and smoking and everything. The band that played was really good though and I had fun dancing. it is just a little disheartening to see people that you thought wouldn't drink with a beer in their hand, even if they are 21 or older. Do you know what I mean. Especially if it is someone that you kindof looked up to. I guess I can't get to upset over it, but it's just kind of sickening to hear all these stories of people that you know and all the stuff that they have done. overall it was a pretty good night though. We went to applebees for dinner before hand and I had a really good crispy chicken salad, and sizzling apple pie for dessert.

I'm just not looking forward to all the homework that I still have to do and the paper that I have to write for tuesday. I don't even know what I'm going to write it on. I'm feeling not so good lately. I'm living for the next weekend and for the end of the day and for Christmas break. I don't like that and I don't know at what point it got to be like that. I also don't know how to stop, I want to live abundantly and not always trying to just get through the day and not dive under. It's a big game of servival now. I feel like a pathetic bump on a log and a useless piece of leftovers. I feel so hungry inside for something more, I know that there is something else out there that there is more to life than this meaningless existance, I've experienced it before. But I don't know where to turn, I don't know who to ask for help, who to tell. I feel I have to do it all on my own. But I know I don't. I just want to go home. Right now I really don't like this college thing. I like Converse and stuff and the people are nice and I have made some friends. But I still hate it.

I don't feel ready to be here, to be on my own, the pressures are to much at times, and right now is one of them. I don't have any of my friends from home here with me and I miss all of the fellowship that I had back home. To say I'm struggling in a lot of things would be an understatement. At times I think that I am doing good, but i'm really just hiding what's really going on inside. my walk with God has been very inconsistant if that, and I feel that I'm being asked to lead spiritually when right know all I feel like is that I'm the one who needs the leading. I think I have finally found a church to go to that I like.

The weather here is really cold and I think it fits my mood and life very well right now.