Your True Birth Month Is January

Loyal Social Logical Easily jealous Loves children Rather reserved Highly attentive Likes to criticize Needs close friends Ambitious and serious Smart, neat and organized Hardworking and productive Loves to teach and be taught Quiet unless excited or tensed Sensitive and has deep thoughts Knows how to make others happy Searches for the greatest romance Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds Romantic but has difficulties expressing love Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses

What's" Your True Birth Month?

Where am I headed?

God, where am I going? What will I be doing in the next ten years? What are my dreams? Will they come true? A long time ago I stopped seriously dreaming and wanting for myself because I wanted to follow your will for my life and not my own. But now I think I've lost the ability to dream, to look inside and feel what I wanted to do. I feel lost at times and question the path that I am on or the goal to which I am heading toward. Are what I'm saying I want and what I truly deep down want really the same. I trust that you have placed inside of me dreams and wishes that is part of your way of showing me your plan and will for my life. But I'm now to scared or far away to see them anymore. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of what my heart wants, of what it is trying to tell me. I catch a glimpse of the dreams and the passion. But it doesn't last long enough to put into words. I've lost or never had the ability to express this desire or Romance:

Philosophers call this Romance, this heart yearning set within us, the longing for transcendence; the desire to be part of something larger than ourselves, to be part of something out of the ordinary that is good. Transcendence is what we experience in a small but powerful way when our city's football team wins the big game against tremendous odds. The deepest part of our heart longs to be bound together in some heroic purpose with others of like mind and spirit. - The Sacred Romance

The heart yearning is there, the excitement at times is almost overwhelming. But I have just always suppressed it. It felt to funny at the time, I was to conscious of what others saw and thought, or I was afraid to express myself. And now I almost can't express myself. I'm out of practice, my mind just doesn't work that way, but my heart wants to sometimes.

In the midst of all of this questioning and wondering this quote holds another larger grain of truth that has greatly become a reality in my life recently. The desire and longing to be bound together with others of like mind and spirit of a heroic purpose. This I have found in the servant team of CRU ministry here. The girls in this group make up a unique and special group of people in my life and what makes it even better is that we are all working together toward the goal of reaching our campus for Christ and impacting this world. No goal or purpose is higher than this, and no matter how small or large my part in this is, it brings my heart joy and purpose and a dream that I have forgotten for a while. My mind has stuck to it and my mouth repeats it, but now my heart also joins with it. There are still so many unanswered questions and I will probably never have the answers to all of them.

But I choose to rest in the arms of the Lord and trust in his will and joy and grace and peace and blessings and unsurpassable wisdom.