One Single blossom

One single blossom holds so much beauty and so much of the plant goes in to creating that one perfect flower. It only lasts for a little while but it brings hope, joy, and beauty to a dark and bleak world. I have an African Violet sitting on my window sill that a friend gave to me last year. I have managed to keep it alive and every once in a while it produces these perfect purple blossoms. One has come up now and as I look at it I am reminded of the work that God does in our lives. We are those perfect beautiful blossoms that God puts his all into making. We get our nutrients and strength from him and even though we only are here for a short time God delights in us so much. We bring him pleasure and put a smile on his face, just like my African violet brings a smile to my face and helps me remember to look for the beauty in life.
I think God gave us flowers to remind us of how he looks on us. To remind us of the joy that we bring him and the love that he has for us. I would be crushed if my flower stopped taking the water that I gave it and curled up and died. God let me never withdraw from your perfect strength and the nutrients that you give me to go through life and continue to blossom into the perfect flower that you have me to be. Help me to always bring you joy and pleasure. I want to put a smile on your face. Thank you Lord that you put your all in to creating me to be a perfect blossom, unique from all the others and yours alone! You are so worth all of my efforts to grow to be the Woman of God that you have made me to be. Help me along this journey. You already have done so much, but there is still so much farther to go, so much more to explore and discover about myself. So much more to learn about you. Thank you!!

Well, Summer is here and almost half over with. I guess I need to update what I've been up to!!
I got home from school safely and with almost all of my stuff. The car had a big trunk, which was a very good thing!!! I have been volunteering with Student Venture this summer which has been a blast.
I'm leading a sophomore Biblestudy for the summer. And also helping to plan and lead the City wide meetings. It is really cool because the other volunteers from this side of town are all good friends of mine from High School. We have a meeting this Monday night and Nancy Wilson is coming to speak to the girl and it is going to be so amazing. She is a mindblowing woman of God.
I have also been working about five days a week at Nature's Table Cafe in the Florida Mall, it is hard work but I need the money. I am desperately trying to save up for a trip to London for a month in January with the history department at school. I have always dreamed of going to London and seeing all the sites and stuff and I finally have a chance to go.
I go to work at 3 today so this morning I'm working on some personal stuff, writing letters doing things around the house. It is nice to have a bit of a break. We have been putting down new floors in the house. Taking out the carpet and linoleum stuff. We put really nice ceramic tile down in the kitchen and we are putting down lament wood flooring in the rest of the house. It looks really nice!! We just have two more bedrooms to do and then we will be done. We have also repainted the Kitchen and dining room. I think my mom is very happy with the way it all looks now. The floor also helps a lot with my allergies!! The carpet held a lot of dust even after vacuuming. I am still working on putting everything back in my room though from when we pulled it all out to do the floor in there. I did get to sleep in the dining room for a few nights. That was fun. Well I need to go do a bunch of stuff.
Hopefully I'll update a little more often.
ttfn

DONE!

Classes are all done, finished, over with. I will never again step foot inside a class room with Dr. Norman (and for me that's a good thing) She has taught me alot, but I've had enough. Prof. Scavillo my German teacher is on sabbatical for fall next year so his daughter will be teaching the class, I'm going to miss him. We have so much fun in that class. And Dr. Willis, I've already told you a lot about him, I'm going to miss him until next year. Thankfully I'm a history major so I'll have him as my prof. Many more times. (I wonder if I can manage to take all of my history classes with him...hummm...we'll have to try!)

I got my research paper done and turned in and then did absolutely nothing the rest of the day. I was so tired. I had gotten up at 4AM to work on it and then I had a meeting from 6am to about 9am. It was crazy. All I can say is that it was a miracle that I got it done.

Now I just have to do the take home final for religion, a German exam on Monday and My history exam on Tuesday, and I can officially pack up the books forever!! I can't wait to be completely done. I can't wait to come home.

Listening: The silence of my room and the tapping of the keyboard.

Almost done with classes, just one more today and then two more days. Today is my last History class. It's going to be sad. I love Dr. Willis, he is such a good teach and a sweet old man. I'll have him again in the fall though. We have started to pack up our room a little and we've taken the stuff off the walls. It looks so empty and white without posters and things. I can't wait to be done and home for the summer. I miss my friends there so much and just hanging out up at starbucks and the towncenter. I have one big research paper standing in my way though. And it's due Friday. I really need to go work on it. It's a good thing I don't have class tomorrow though, I can spend all day trying to whip out 6-8 pages of pure genius!! lol. It will probably stink. Oh well, as long as I get it done. Can't wait to be done!!!

Trip to Africa
I know that it has been a long time since last summer when I went with my dad back to Africa for two weeks, but I have finally figured out how to post pictures. So here are a couple of pictures and highlights from my trip! Enjoy!


Poor dad got in trouble while we were in Gold Reef City, I had to leave him behind!! 


We were parked not but about ten feet away from this guy, but he wouldn't move, he was to busy sleeping!!lol 


We were driving through a game park one day while we were in Johannesburg, and this guy just walked right across the road infront of the car! 


This is the lake that has formed at the Katse Dam up in the mountains. The water is so Blue and deep. It has filled in the deep valley!! 


These are some of the beautiful Lesotho mountains that we drove through! The road is really twisty! 


This is the Hospital where I was born in Morija, Lesotho! 


This is the horse that I road when we went riding in the mountains on my trip to Lesotho last summer.  

I got bored and started playing around. blogger has all these really cool new backgrounds and formats, and I really like this one!! It makes it look more like a real journal.

Song of Myself

I shout, I sing, I whisper, I cry, I laugh,
to go deeper into the mysteries of life.
I am like the endless rolling hills and green
fields,
I sing and dance to the beating drums of
Africa,
I race to the complex spirit of America,
All these cultures mixed to create one, me.
To lend a helping hand, to serve my whole life
through, to listen to the rustling leaves,
the voices of my friends.
Through all the hurt and pain that life may
bring,
I will be strong, I will prevail to the end.
I will live on, even after life has withdrawn
itself back to the dust from whince it
came.

By
Jessica Lynn Atherton

Successful Shopping!!

I just got back from the most amazing bookstore ever. There is a traveling Christian Book warehouse that is in town. I'm talking dirt cheep prices. It was great.
I got:
1. Strong's Exhaustive Concordance - $8.00
2. "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge - $12.00
3. "Dare to Desire" by John Eldredge - $6.00
4. "Fatal Flaws: What evolutionists Don't want you to know." by Hank Hanegraaff - $3.00
5. "God thinks you're Wonderful!" by Max Lucado - $6.00
Total - $36.75
you can't get much better than that. And to get a Strong's Concordance for only $8.00!!! I'm excited for the summer to start so that I can start to read all of these books and so many more. If only school didn't get in the way I would be reading them now!! Well just wanted to share my exciting bargain shopping experience with you. Have a God filled and Blessed day!!!

Listening: Supertones Strike Back

Captive

I am a prisioner of myself,
Caged in by bars of my own making,
The pain I feel no one can touch.

Time does not stop for me,
The universe goes on without me,
Never thinking twice about me.

These hands are hardened by my toil,
My sweat stains this upturned soil,
And yet I linger on,
Through these sacrifices.

My pain inside me never ceasing.
Hidden from all the eyes of this world.
But there is one who sees and knows
This pain I have inside of me,
This pain that keeps me captive.

By Jessica Lynn Atherton (Me)

Life

Life is cool when God is at the center of it!!! I was reading over my last update list. and its funny to see how old that is. Some of those things really need to be updated again.
I am very excited to say that the one about me reading my Bible everyday though has not changed. I still haven't missed a day. And let me tell you how that is affecting my everyday life!!! God works in some wonderous ways.

Last semester wasn't very good. I dealt with a lot of lonelyness and homesickness. and it didn't help that I didn't get to go home the entire semester. I also wasn't walking with the Lord consistently. The times that I would spend reading my Bible and journaling were very speradic and only at times when I felt I was about to burst I couldn't hold the turmoil in any more. But this semester has been so radically different. and it's a difference that I don't want to see change. It is amazing how just spending a little time each day reading God's word can change your whole attitude and thoughts and willingness to be used and taught. I have been more involved in leadership in CRU which I've said before.
But more exciting for me, I have been able to see growth, a steady growth. I'm actually able to point to specific things that I've seen God do and teach me. and lessons that I'm learning. There are definitely days when I think the world is going to crash down on me and days when I wish that it would. But I can turn back to God and he gets me through it.

God has also brought some great people and friends into my life who have showed me and taught me so much, and they don't even know they've done it. I had a very encouraging and inspiring conversation with a new friend last night. and then I read a chapter in this book that I'm reading "Speechless" by Steven Curtis Chapman and Scotty Smith that showed me something that I was thinking wrong about. this book is so cool. It is all about grace, which if you have ever gone through the process of learning even a little bit more about, is such a life changing thing. It is also one of those dangerous prayers to pray, because when God gives it to you it's not always easy. but I see more and more as I continue to give my life to Christ daily, he is lighting the fire inside of me and preparing me for greater and better things.

There is so much that I want to write about and little things that I want to say. But they would be really weird all written in one post and I don't want to make you have to suffer through reading them all so I'll end now. But just wanted to give you some encouragement that I'm still alive and God is moving!!!

I can't wait for the summer!! Cause that means that next year is closer to being here and all the great plans that we have we can start doing.

Well in the words of my friend Matt,

holla!

Listening: Goes Around Comes Around By FONO

Be Still And Know
By Steven Curtis Chapman

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is holy
Be still oh restless soul of mine
Bow before the prince of Peace
Let the noise and clamor cease

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is faithful
Consider all that he has done
Stand in awe and be amazed
And know that He will never change
Be still

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is God
Be still
Be speechless

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is our Father
Come rest your Head upon His breast
Listen to the rhythm of
His unfailing heart of love
Beating for His little ones
Calling each of us to come
Be still
Be still

God,
Take my heart and quiet my restless soul. Help me to turn to you for the rest I long for. Quiet the storm inside of me. Help me to breathe in you Oh Lord.
Your faithful daughter,
Jessica

Update Time!

- I didn't get the CA position. Which actually may be a good thing! I am now free to travel during Jaunuary term to England with the History department.

- I am leading the prayer ministry for CRU and there are some exciting things happening. It feels so good to be apart of a ministry and really getting it going and focusing on God!!

- I have not missed reading my Bible a single day this year, so far!! and it has been great the things that God is teaching me and showing me!! And it really does make a difference in my outlook on life!!

- The weather has gotten cooler again! But hopefully it will warm up again soon!!

- I'm going to be on Honor Board again next year and I will be the Secratary! I just have to get trained now!

- I finished and turned I my book review on Robespierre. and I think I did really good on my first History test!

- I Jammed my finger in the door this morning for the first time!! I will never again think lightly about it when others say they've done it. I can now feel there pain!! I also have a new appreciation for what it means to get lightheaded and almost black out!! Here's the story:
I had gotten up early to go work out with the ROTC over at Wofford, and I was trying to shut the door to keep the light from waking Sarah up as I headed to the bathroom. WACK!!!! my finger was still in the door and it hit right where the metal plate is for the latch thing on the door jamb. I was stunned at first and it hurt a little, then I looked at my finger and a little chunk where my finger had hit the corner of the metal was really deep. I didn't scream or cry just walked in to the bathroom and thought it would be okay. It wasn't bleeding. Then when I got in to the bathroom the pain came and then I couldn't see very well, things started to get fuzzy and I was light headed. sometimes in the morning when I wake up It will be like I'm trying to get my balance and my eyes will kindof go dark and then come back out and focus again. Well I didn't get focused again. So I walked done the hall to the CA, Andrea, and she gave me a bag of frozen peas to put on it, and some juice. I guess my body went into a little bit of shock over it. The door probably hit a nerve in my finger. I'm fine now, but it was pretty scary, Andrea said I was pretty white! This has never happened before. Just thought I'd share with you guys my tramatic experience of this morning! I'm never getting my finger caught in a door again!! It will take a while for the little gouge in my finger to heal and my mom said that my finger will me really sore tomorrow, I hope not!! I've always wondered what it would be like to almost black out, well now I know and lets not do it again!!

Other than that I have had a pretty good day! I never did work out today though. Oh well!!

Hurray for History!!!

I haven't really been writing alot about whats going on with me lately. Part of it is that I haven't felt much like writing lately and part of it is that this semester has been really busy... atleast the first couple of weeks have been. This is only my 11th day of classes for my spring semester. And already a lot has happened and been going on. The weather here is really gorgeous right now. it's like 76 degrees out side and cool and sunny. Which is so crazy seeing as how just last week we go 8 inches of snow on thursday and had classes canceled for thursday and friday. Only in South Carolina can you be all bundled up playing in the snow one week and just 4 days later be walking around in shorts and flip-flops. But i must say that right now the weather is the best that it could ever be and I just want to run outside spread my blanket on the lawn and read a book. but I still have one class left till The weekend starts for me. Almost there!!!

Other fun and cool updates as to what's going on in my life:
1. I an running again for Honor board and will be the secretary for next year. Which is begining to scare me more and more as I realise and look at the responsibility and work that that is going to entail... But I can't wait and it should be tons of fun.

2. I have applied to be a CA for next year. i went through two interviews yesterday and I have another group interview on Sunday afternoon and I'll find out if I've been accepted and what my placement will be on Thursday next week. I'm really excited about this and really hope that I get a position. I feel really good about it right now too. It will mean a single room free of extra charges and extra money each month as well as just being a CA and having fun.

3. I'm getting more involved in the leadership of CRU here and will be going on a leadership conference the first weekend in april right before my spring break. It has been cool to get to know some of the other leaders and students at the different schools in Spartanburg.

4. I think I've finally figured out what I want to major in!!! I really enjoy learning about the past and history and about different people and events. I'm horrible at keeping up with current politics and events and whats going on right now. But I do like history. So I think I'm going to declare History as my major and still minor in Physics. And I should be able to get all of the classes that I need and stuff done in time to graduate on time!!! And the History department also makes a trip to England and London every other year during the winter term and I really want to go on this trip. So there you have it folks I have gone from Interior Design to Elementary Ed. to thinking about psychology to thinking about religion to finally deciding on History. I'm taking Mod. European Hist. right now and I really an enjoying the class and it is so interesting. and I absolutely adore the teacher. he is a post in and of itself. I shall have to tell you about him. Maybe at the end of this one.

5. oh and I've been wearing flip-flops for the past couple of days and my feet aren't used to them. I've never really worn them for long periods of time before. And has this ever happened to you? but they are wearing blisters of the sides of my feet. I am definitely going to have to wear them more often inorder to develop the calosis needed for extended summer wear!!

Well I think I've covered most of the major stuff going on right now. Let me tell you about my history professor!!! he is so cute! and not in the "oh he's good looking" kind of way. but in the "you can't just help but love him" kinda way. He is really old and kind of stutters when he talks and gets excited about things. And he makes history so much fun. The way he talkes about it in class makes it seem like story time. and he tries to make it interesting. He jokes sometimes with us and refers to himself as teacher. It is so cute. He'll say stuff like "not don't get mad at teacher" and one of my favorite quotes from the other day "it says in the handbook that I have 30 seconds to write something on the board after I say it, so don't rush me." And he has his manor in which he says it that makes it so funny. And he really knows his stuff so sometimes he'll give us Mid-week bonus info. just cool little facts and stuff about what we are learning. He is one of the reasons I want to major in History!! Now I have to go read a book for his class so I can write a book review on it for next week!! Interesting book though!! I got to pick it. "The Revolutionary Career of Maximilien Robespierre" Fun stuff!!! (and I'm not being sarcastic... isn't that just plain dorky... oh well... I'm a dork!!)

THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD


I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up, and then
long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither
the present nor the future.”

"That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons
you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone
love them. All they can do
is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good
to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.

"Is there anything else
you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here... always.”

-author unknown


This is a really cool poem from a web site that uses it as a ministry. They have this as a presentation and it's set to music with really breathtaking scenery for backgrounds. and the whole thing is very relaxing and amazing. The words of the poem are so powerfull on there own. Please check it out and fell Gods love over you. Check out The Interview with God

God's Love Awareness Day

Winter term is almost over, just one week left and then I can go home for the long weekend. I'll get to celebrate my dad's Birthday with him and be with my family for Valentines day. And I'll get a chance to talk and hang out with my sister and also see some of my friends.

On the subject of Valentines day: It is thought of as a day for couples to celebrate there love for each other. A special day for a guy to shower gifts and love on his special girl, a time for him to take her out to a special dinner and to give her flowers. Pink and Red, colours of love, are seen every where this month. For those of us that are single it is often dreaded and called names like "lonely hearts day" or one that me and my friends in high school always called it was "singles awarness Day"

Every year my parents would give me and my sister something special, a little box of chocolates and a stuffed animal or something, and a card. They never forgot to share there love for us on this day. As nice a these gifts were it was still not as special as receiving these same things from a boy. But that's not necessarily the right response. You know what... Valentines Day isn't just for couples. It's for everybody. It is a day to show our love and God's love to those around us that we care about. Our friends and family need to know that we love them to. I would like to call this Valentines Day "God's love awarness Day" I think this is a pretty apropriate title. and definetly much better than couples day or something like that. Because ultimatly our first love shouldn't be some boy or even our husband(if you have one) But our First Love should be Jesus Christ!!! So shouldn't this day, like ever other, be all about him.

Whether you have a misserable day sulking, or a great day celebrating with someone, Valentines day is really a matter of our attitude and heart. It's a choice. We can choice to sulk because we don't get something or we can choose to give to others. and I have a feeling that the latter is probably a whole lot nicer!!

I'm saying all of this to myself as well as to others. God is Amazing and His love is greater than any love that we could ever experience on Earth. And he has been showing me a little bit of that and I can't wait for the day when I can experience all of his love all the time. So don't forget to celebrate "God's Love Day" !!!

(inspiration and awareness for these thoughts and revelations were provided by an article in the Feb. issue of Brio and Beyond. It's an amazing magazine, I highly recomend it!!)

Listening: WOW 2000 Disc 1

Snow Day... Again.

The weather hasn't improved much and all the ice that we had yesterday hasn't melted. So guess what... I'm stuck in my room with no school and not much else to do... again!!
I like this term because of the lack schedule and spare time, but frankly I don't know what to do with all this time and no pressure and stress to distract me. I have been stuck in the dorm for the entire weekend. And yes I've gone to the store, but that is the extent of my travels off campus. There is no place to go to just hangout with friends and have a deep conversation... there is no one to have a deep conversation with and to listen to me and me to listen to them. No guys to have fun with and nothing to do but watch TV and Movies. And I think I'm tired of doing that. I think I have seen more movies this term than I have in my entire life!!! I love movies, but sometimes they just put you in a depressing mood!!
I say I'm bored, but I know that there is lots of stuff that I could do. Lots of things that require a little more thought and maybe thoughts about things I don't want to think about right now. But stuff that I know that I have to take a look at soon or later, so why not now.. Well in some ways I'm a little scared to confront or think about thinks because I know that they require a response, an action, a change must take place or they will come up again. I have been reading through one of my old journals, it doesn't have but a few sporadic entries from many years ago, before I really started to journal, before I really started to walk with the Lord!! But it is just amazing to read some of the things in it. Some of the same stuff that I talked about then is still very relevant today. It is amazing to be reminded of the lessons that I learned so long ago, and have now become a big part of my life. I'm sorry that this is all so vague it's just that I haven't really thought through it much yet. There is no real situation that I am referring to, no real problem of sorts. Just stuff that has to be dealt with, between me and God. Last semester I could feel a big weight on my heart and I still feel it there now.
God is just going to have to keep working on me and reveal to me what he has for me and what he wants me to do.
Anyways, I'm a little depressed right now and all I want to do is go home, where I can be with my friends and hug them again, where I can be with my family and they can help me with stuff. I like being on my own, but it gets very lonely sometimes. I am an introvert and so I don't like too much interaction with people but I do need some and I like that to be in the quiet kind of way. Around here everything seems to go in a blur. Everybody is loud and crazy and I don't know how to deal with it.

Here it is:
I don't know who different actors are, I can't remember movie names, I don't really know who played what.
I don't know all these different singers names and the songs they sing or what the words are to them.
I don't know about all these popular books or items.
I don't know who's boyfriend did what and what's going on in our culture today.
I don't know about all this political stuff that's going on, I don't keep up with it all.
I don't know what's happening with all the sports teams.
And you know what, I DON"T CARE about all this stuff. I hate it when people ask me about something and when I say I don't know, they make it out to be a crime that I don't or that I'm nobody because I'm not up on what's going on in the world. I hate it when I do begin to care about these things. I have never been able to enter into conversations with friends about all these different things. They are so superficial to me. I grew up with out them and I don't see why I can't survive the rest of my life with out this junk either. Yes, I do think that the political stuff is important. But I also think its more important to know what you believe and not what the world or some politician believes. I will sit down and watch TV shows or movies that I like, and there have been a few that I really liked watching and try to keep up with. But it is not the end of the world if I miss an episode or don't see it for a while. I hate all these night time soap operas that are meant to entertain us, but really all they do is pervert us. There is so much Sex, Drugs, Divorce, and Scandal in the stuff that we watch, listen to, and idolize that politicians and people wonder why we have so much of these things in our lives and schools and marriages today!! I'm not here to preach and say that I know the answer to it all. I'm not saying that even I don't watch these things from time to time. But I hate it when people make TV and Music and Movies seem so important. And if anyone yells at me one more time for not having seen A Walk To Remember or for not having read the book I Am going to SCREAM!!! Yes it may be a good story, but get on with your lives people it's just a movie, it's not real!!! My roommate has an obsession with this thing and every time someone mentions it, in this obnoxious way she starts saying how great it is and then brings up that I haven't seen it!! Urrrgh... stop bring me up when you talk about things!@!!! Okay, I need to calm down. I think I'm going to watch it with her just to get her to shut up about it. I almost want to never see it just to spite her... but if I watch it I can give her a more informed opinion of it. And then truly say I don't like it! It's not the greatest thing since sliced bread, Jesus Christ is the greatest thing since before sliced bread!!!
I'm just going to shut up now. I hate ranting and raving, but sometimes it's the only way to think and get out what you feel.

On a lighter note, outside still looks beautiful, all white and stuff. And I had a great time sledding with a bunch of friends yesterday. Anyways I'm going to go not cry because my roommate is in the room and I'm going to talk to God, the only one around here who can listen to me.

Sorry again for it being so rambly and junk.

SNOW DAY!!

It's the first snow day of the year and it's not even really snow. We had an Ice storm last night and the ground is covered in it. It kinda looks like snow though, all white and stuff. AND the best part is that classes are canceled for the day. So guess what I'm going to go do. I'm going to see how many people I can round up and then head outside in the bitter cold and play in it. Maybe even do some sleding down back campus!! This is kind of fun. Well, I'll let you now more about my snow day. Right now I need to go get dressed. It would be kindof stupid to go running out there in my PJ's!!

Okay this is going to sound really cheesy but I was looking at my friend Laura's site and she had a bunch of quiz's posted that she had taken. And I think that she is so cool and so much fun so I went and took some of the quizes so here are the results. Laura Lou I love ya girl!!



You are Ephesians.


Which book of the Bible are you?
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Aragorn
Please rate my quiz I worked hard for it thanks


Which Lord of the Rings person do you want? (many out comes for anyone plus pics to)
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Take my quiz that I made!!
Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

DREAM HOME

I have added some new CD's to my collection recently and am greatly enjoying listening to them.
Jars of Clay's new one who are we instead

Enya Paint the Sky with Stars

and the soundtrack to The Lord of the Rings, The Return of The King.

All very good CD's, and a friend is going to let me burn their other Enya CD and another friend is going to let me burn the Norah Jones CD. I am very excited about these new additions. I still have a long wish list of music that I would someday like to own and pull out whenever I am in the mood to listen to it. Recently I have been looking at a site that has house plans. and might I say, gorgeous house plans. As stupid as this may sound that is something that I really enjoy, looking at dream homes. I have added this site to my favorites so you need to check it out. There are many things that I want when I get older, many dreams that I have.

What I want in my Dream house:
A large foyer with a dinning room and a living room/parlor off of it.
A large Kitchen with a window looking out on to a vegetable garden, and a large stove and double oven. An island in the middle and a bar with stools. A place to do lots of cooking. An a large pantry, and a butler's pantry leading to the dinning room.
A large grand stair case off of the entrance leading upstair with a banaster that you can slide down.
A large family room with a big hearth for all to enjoy.
As many bay windows and balcony's as you can get on a house.
A breakfast nook off of the kitchen with half of the seating being a window seat, and a bay window.
A piano niche off of the living room.
All french doors leading into every room.
A large laundry room, and storage room.
A garage with a work area/room.
A master bedroom with a seperate seating area and a large bathroom and whirlpool tub and two large walk in closets for Him and Her.
A home theatre room.
A game room filled with a pool table, ping-pong table and other game tables.
An excersise room.
A pool out back.
Lots of bedrooms for lots of kids and guests, each with a walk-in-closet and their own bathroom.
An apartment above the Garage.
A large long porch out back, covered, a place to enjoy nature.
Extended Gardens to spend the evenings walking through, full of paths and ponds and flowers, and mazes. A place to loose yourself in.
And most importantly, #1 on my list. A Library, two stories, with wall to wall and ceiling to floor shelves of old leather bound books, all the classics and new ones. A place to go and relax. Like the one in My fair Lady, with the second story, and a spiral staircase to get to the top. A large Mahogany desk and large stuffed leather chairs for sitting in. A private library that can only be gotten to through the master bedroom or a hidden door!! With one window seat looking out into the gardens.

This is my dream house as I see it in my mind. I know that I will never have this here on earth, my heart is set on serving Him here. But in heaven my dreams will come true, in the New Jeruselum this is where I will live. And my house will be filled with the love and laughter of friends and family and the singing of Angels shall be on the air at all times. Knowing that I can't have this now makes me long for it all the more. It gives me hope. The Father knows all my desires and dreams and he will bring them about. God has been teaching me many lessons about storing up my treasure in heaven, and that's what I want to do. But till I get there, I'm never going to stop dreaming.
By the way i have like a huge folder at home that is full of all kinds of house plans that me and my mom have cut out of Southern Living. She started when she was younger and now I'm doing it. I love it. And I don't care if you think that's wierd!!!

Can I last

Christmas has come and gone and so has New Year's. The joy of spending time with my family and having nothing to do is over. Work and school have begun again. Thankfully this is going to be a light term academic wise. But who knows but God what it will be like spiritually and emotionally. I feel a heavy weight on my shoulders and on my heart that I have been carrying for a while and that has slowely grown. The holidays served as a time to mostly forget about it and not deal with it. By the end of last semester I could think of nothing else but getting away from it all, it was to depressing and convicting to deal with it. Even now, when I know that the only way to lift the burden that I feel is to face it and deal with it, me and God, I still don't want to look at it.

I don't want to think about what is going on in my heart and life because that means changing or doing something that will be hard. But at the same time I know deep down that this would actually be the better thing and that it will not be me alone who goes through it but that God is there to carry me through all the muck that I have to wade through to get to the next stepping stone in life. My heart feels heavy and I know some of the reasons why, but I don't really want to find out because it always means wrestling with God.

At the end of last semester my walk with God was nill to zilch, I hadn't picked up my Bible often and hadn't really spoken to him in a while, except of course to ask him to help me with my finals. I longed to have a better walk, to stop the ups and downs and walk a steady course. But I was almost ashamed, not knowing where to start. I long deeply to be a godly woman and to be pure and blameless before Him and the world. I long to be His servent, and to do his will, I want my life to reflect His glory. I long to understand and be filled with his wisdom like the book of Proverbs talks about. I long to know what his word says.

But when ever I look at what that means I don't know where to start, I become discouraged because it doesn't happen overnight, instead I fall into sin or become discusted with myself and fall in to depression. Instead I never get started, or I do try but am unwilling to truly take the first hard steps and then give up or just over time forget I ever wanted to. there are so many things in my life that end like this, including dieting. All of this only leads more to the depression.

But something happened this new year that I hope and think will slowly put me on the path of dealing with all these things and getting back in control of my life, well I guess a better way to word that is giving the control of my life over to God and just following him. This is probably the best thing that my parents could have done for me right now. Yes my parents did it. They have challenged me to read through the Bible this year, and not just some half hearted reading but a true challenge, to read my Bible every day and slowly work my way through it. My mom even gave me a plan to follow that will make it more diverse that just a straight read through. Many years before I have started out with this goal in mind, but again not knowing how or where to start it never got very far. I have always found a lack in my life when it comes to knowing what God has to say in his word about so many things.

And not only have they challenged me to this,( at probably the best time in my life that they could have challenged me) they have set up an incentive to incourage me in my journey. But for every day that I miss a little bit of that incentive is taken away. I think with my parents help and support I can bring my walk back around. At the start of this year I see a small glimmer of hope ahead of me and I have a hope in my heart that that light will only grow as time goes on. with me reading Gods word everyday it means a more steady walk with him and the hope of so many of my longing being fulfilled.
Like I said before, this has come at a good time in my life. If they had challenged me earlier in my life I would not have been as opened to it, the desire would not have been there. I would have thought of it more as a nother thing that my parents wanted but I did not. God has truely prepared me to take this step in my life. I have seen this through my sister. My parents gave the challenge to both of us. But because we are at different places in our lives right now we have taken it differently. She is reacting the same way that i would have reacted just two years ago. With a rebelious and stubborn attitude of not wanting to be told what to do, Or I would have said to myself that I didn't need them to tell me what to do with my time or life. She may later see the importance of what they want for us but right now that is not where she is at and that is okay. But seeing her reaction makes me realise just how much being off at college has taught me and changed me and the way I view things now.

( Laura, you will be here soon enough, don't rush it, even though I may at times push on you the way I see things just ignore me, or take them in with a big grain of salt. One day you will be here and know what I mean. But don't think you have to grow up faster now because of were I am at. Don't think that at all. and please don't think that I want to change you. )

I know it sounds like such a small thing, just reading throught the Bible right? well, I guess that's all it really is, but to me right now it is so much more than that. Right now it seems like a way to actually survive in this world, to get through the year. So if you could be praying that I take this challenge and never let go of it and that I follow through with it and that God shows himself to me as I read his word and trust him that would be great.

Listening
Jennifer Knapp Kansas
Bebo Norman Ten Thousand Days