Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Boxes of Love

In November, just before Thanksgiving, with my New Staff training group I had the opportunity to volunteer with Here’s Life Inner City to help put together and then distribute their Boxes of Love. Here’s Life Inner City is a ministry of Campus Crusade that reaches out to inner city families and kids by partnering with city churches to provide after-school programs, some job-training and aid in other ways.

At Thanksgiving they collect food items and meat to make a Box of Love, which is a enough food to feed a family of 6 people. Volunteers from churches then distribute the boxes to families and invite them to their church. On a Saturday a small group of us were able to work with about 100 other volunteers at HLIC’s headquarters in Orlando to pack together 100’s of Boxes and then in the afternoon our small group went with Pastor Samuel to visit several families and deliver a couple of Boxes.

Several of the families we visited had recently become Christians because of the ministry of Samuel’s church which meets in a small house near downtown Orlando. There were several points that afternoon that I felt God humble me as we interacted with the families and simply brought them some food and showed them God’s love in a very real way. At almost every house we went to we were greeted with smiles and hugs. Despite their lack of material wealth these families had huge hearts for God!

You can see pictures from both our training time and the outreach posted in the pictures section. Please check them out.

October Newsletter

So I just realized I forgot to post my October/November newsletter. I haven't done a very good job of keeping things updated on here. Life has been very busy with a lot changes and stuff happening. But here is my newsletter from the end of 2007. I hope you enjoy reading it and look for many more updates to quickly follow this one. Thank you for all of your love, prayers and support.

Monday, November 12, 2007

God is Moving Today

God is moving today in remarkable ways! It is a very exciting time to be engaged in building movements throughout the world.

I was talking to Steve Steele a few months ago. He used to be with DAWN Ministries and is currently with the Maclellan Foundation. He is one of the best sources of church planting statistics. I asked him how many churches were planted by the entire body of Christ in 2006. "At least 1.4 million," he responded. I was stunned. I knew that the number was well over 500,000 in 2005. I also knew that number was around 100,000 in the mid 1990's. So to be over a million seemed like a very rapid acceleration of God's work on earth.

As I think back on it though, I should not have been so surprised. I have seen many signs of God's remarkable work in recent years. For example, God has used the Jesus Film to result in more than 6 billion exposures to the gospel and 200 million decisions since 1979. The film has been translated into 1,000 languages and has been shown in every country on earth. But those figures can't even begin to give the full picture of how God is using the film.

In southern Iraq, two Imams each had dreams in which Jesus appeared. They both had opportunities to watch a video of the Jesus Film shortly afterward. Since they knew each other, each was anxious to talk to the other about what had just happened. Imagine their surprise and joy as they talked. Now they have a group of 17 with whom they meet for spiritual growth. Jesus has appeared to all of the people in that group.

In Ethiopia, two tribes were at war with one another. When the Jesus Film team came to that area, they set up the screen between the two tribes' villages. Since both tribes spoke exactly the same dialect, the team invited people from both tribes to attend the showing. Each tribe left its weapons behind and sat on different sides of the screen. At the end of the showing, God moved in a powerful way. Not only did many from both tribes pray to receive Christ, but they also ventured to the other side of the screen to embrace and reconcile with the people they had considered enemies before. A short time later a church was started with people attending from both tribes.

Yes, God is moving!

Many of you were in Busan, South Korea this summer for CM2007. I was inspired when I saw the enthusiasm and commitment of thousands of college students from 120 countries. It is estimated that over half of the college students committed themselves to help launch movements of spiritual multiplication on the 6,000 major campuses of the world where we know of no such movements. The last night of the conference, we saw the powerful picture of the harvest of students that awaits us as we go. Hundreds of Korean-student seekers at the conference came forward to indicate decisions to follow Jesus.

I recently heard of a student named Bogdan who attended CM2007 from Ploiesti, a non-staff campus in Romania. Bogdan's small student team is planning a faith trip to a campus in another city in just a few weeks. They are trusting God for the train fare and expenses to help launch a movement. Some volunteers there are planning an evangelistic outreach. As he steps out in faith, Bogdan now signs his emails with

To date, 980 CM2007 attendees have signed up for the Global Learning Center campus ministry training. Those students are from 650 institutions in 82 countries. As they interact with the online training, they are learning practical skills for starting and building spiritual movements in a campus environment.

God is also moving in the digital world. Everystudent.com saw over 6,400,000 visitors last school year, coming from more than 50 countries. These sites are now available in 22 languages, with Campus Directors around the world desiring to translate this strategy into their own languages. Almost 100,000 indicated decisions for Christ. I have read dozens of stories of students who had lost hope for a vital, meaningful life and then came to Christ. Many have written to thank us for introducing them to Jesus.

Through Everystudent.com, Global Media Outreach and other Campus Crusade for Christ evangelistic web sites, we are projecting well over 1,000,000 decisions for Christ in 2007. God is indeed moving!

I could give examples from Family Life, Athletes in Action, Josh McDowell and many other Campus Crusade for Christ ministries around the world. I could add to that examples from other ministries, denominations and local churches. All of these would show that in different ways and in many parts of the world God seems to be accelerating His efforts to draw people to His Son.

And that gives me faith to believe that even in the places that are currently unresponsive, God is beginning to move in people's hearts. We know that there is no truly satisfying life to be found apart from Jesus Christ. So we can trust that if we keep talking about Him and about what His word says, the light will indeed shine, even into spiritually dark places.

In John 4:35, Jesus said that the fields are ripe and ready for harvest. That is more true today in many parts of the world than it was in Sychar when Jesus spoke those words. And here is what particularly motivates me: You and I have the privilege of being in ministry right in the middle of God's great harvest.
Thoughts to consider during one of your devotional times:
How can we respond to God's tremendous demonstrations of grace in various ways and in different parts of the world?
1. Meditate on John 4:35. Ask God to give you a fresh vision of the field in which He has placed you.
2. Join me in praising God for His powerful acts of grace. Thank Him for bringing His light to people in different parts of the world.
3. Pray with me that God will work mightily in the places of the world that are unresponsive. Pray that God will encourage the staff and other movement-builders in those parts of the world.

God is Moving Today

By Steve Douglass, President

God is moving today in remarkable ways! It is a very exciting time to be engaged in building movements throughout the world.

I was talking to Steve Steele a few months ago. He used to be with DAWN Ministries and is currently with the Maclellan Foundation. He is one of the best sources of church planting statistics. I asked him how many churches were planted by the entire body of Christ in 2006. "At least 1.4 million," he responded. I was stunned. I knew that the number was well over 500,000 in 2005. I also knew that number was around 100,000 in the mid 1990's. So to be over a million seemed like a very rapid acceleration of God's work on earth.

As I think back on it though, I should not have been so surprised. I have seen many signs of God's remarkable work in recent years. For example, God has used the Jesus Film to result in more than 6 billion exposures to the gospel and 200 million decisions since 1979. The film has been translated into 1,000 languages and has been shown in every country on earth. But those figures can't even begin to give the full picture of how God is using the film.

In southern Iraq, two Imams each had dreams in which Jesus appeared. They both had opportunities to watch a video of the Jesus Film shortly afterward. Since they knew each other, each was anxious to talk to the other about what had just happened. Imagine their surprise and joy as they talked. Now they have a group of 17 with whom they meet for spiritual growth. Jesus has appeared to all of the people in that group.

In Ethiopia, two tribes were at war with one another. When the Jesus Film team came to that area, they set up the screen between the two tribes' villages. Since both tribes spoke exactly the same dialect, the team invited people from both tribes to attend the showing. Each tribe left its weapons behind and sat on different sides of the screen. At the end of the showing, God moved in a powerful way. Not only did many from both tribes pray to receive Christ, but they also ventured to the other side of the screen to embrace and reconcile with the people they had considered enemies before. A short time later a church was started with people attending from both tribes.

Yes, God is moving!

Many of you were in Busan, South Korea this summer for CM2007. I was inspired when I saw the enthusiasm and commitment of thousands of college students from 120 countries. It is estimated that over half of the college students committed themselves to help launch movements of spiritual multiplication on the 6,000 major campuses of the world where we know of no such movements. The last night of the conference, we saw the powerful picture of the harvest of students that awaits us as we go. Hundreds of Korean-student seekers at the conference came forward to indicate decisions to follow Jesus.

I recently heard of a student named Bogdan who attended CM2007 from Ploiesti, a non-staff campus in Romania. Bogdan's small student team is planning a faith trip to a campus in another city in just a few weeks. They are trusting God for the train fare and expenses to help launch a movement. Some volunteers there are planning an evangelistic outreach. As he steps out in faith, Bogdan now signs his emails with

To date, 980 CM2007 attendees have signed up for the Global Learning Center campus ministry training. Those students are from 650 institutions in 82 countries. As they interact with the online training, they are learning practical skills for starting and building spiritual movements in a campus environment.

God is also moving in the digital world. Everystudent.com saw over 6,400,000 visitors last school year, coming from more than 50 countries. These sites are now available in 22 languages, with Campus Directors around the world desiring to translate this strategy into their own languages. Almost 100,000 indicated decisions for Christ. I have read dozens of stories of students who had lost hope for a vital, meaningful life and then came to Christ. Many have written to thank us for introducing them to Jesus.

Through Everystudent.com, Global Media Outreach and other Campus Crusade for Christ evangelistic web sites, we are projecting well over 1,000,000 decisions for Christ in 2007. God is indeed moving!

I could give examples from Family Life, Athletes in Action, Josh McDowell and many other Campus Crusade for Christ ministries around the world. I could add to that examples from other ministries, denominations and local churches. All of these would show that in different ways and in many parts of the world God seems to be accelerating His efforts to draw people to His Son.

And that gives me faith to believe that even in the places that are currently unresponsive, God is beginning to move in people's hearts. We know that there is no truly satisfying life to be found apart from Jesus Christ. So we can trust that if we keep talking about Him and about what His word says, the light will indeed shine, even into spiritually dark places.

In John 4:35, Jesus said that the fields are ripe and ready for harvest. That is more true today in many parts of the world than it was in Sychar when Jesus spoke those words. And here is what particularly motivates me: You and I have the privilege of being in ministry right in the middle of God's great harvest.
Thoughts to consider during one of your devotional times:
How can we respond to God's tremendous demonstrations of grace in various ways and in different parts of the world?
1. Meditate on John 4:35. Ask God to give you a fresh vision of the field in which He has placed you.
2. Join me in praising God for His powerful acts of grace. Thank Him for bringing His light to people in different parts of the world.
3. Pray with me that God will work mightily in the places of the world that are unresponsive. Pray that God will encourage the staff and other movement-builders in those parts of the world.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Tribute to the coaches in my life

God sends us daily blessings, gifts of Love, in the form or friends, strangers, or simple happenings in life. Sometimes He blesses us with someone who comes alongside us and helps us grow and process where we are at. I feel like God has blessed me extra-ordinarily in the area of guidance and mentorship. Through each stage of my life God has provided an older woman or peer to come alongside me. In High School I was blessed with a Bible Study leader who later became my discipler. Michelle Beckman is an incredible single woman of God who has such a heart for discipleship and for reaching out to young Christians. It was Michelle who was there when at the age of 15 I decided to give my life fully to Christ and begin walking in God's truth. Then later, halfway through my senior year Michelle prayed with me as I opened up the rest of my heart to God and committed to fully serve Him, to lead a Spirit-filled, completely surrendered life. She continued to meet with me when I came home for school Holidays and to this day we still get together to talk through life when we can. She always know how to ask the hard questions, the ones that produce revelation and growth. She taught me to pray the dangerous prayers, to experience God's grace, and to be aware of relationship with God and others. With her I began the process of discovering who I am in Christ and who God has made me to be.

Then I went to college and eventually God brought Jen Catoe into my life to disciple me for my last two years. It was amazing to talk with her about what God was teaching me and to be able to have her hold me accountable as I began to trust God and follow his leading more and more in my life. Jen showed me a gentle spirit and helped me through a tough time of healing. Also at this time God brought into my life several friends that were strong in their faith and together we led the Crusade ministry at Converse and with Jen's guidance poured into each others lives. I learned about peer guidance at this time and how to hold my friends accountable as we all strived to trust and serve God more. (I will be a bridesmaid in one of their weddings in a few weeks!!)

So what now? Again God has blessed me in an incredible way. As a part of the new staff training program that I will be going through for this next year I have been assigned a coach to work with me on personal development. And guess what? I just possibly got the best coach there is at headquarters. Sandy Fernandez is also a member of the team I work with!! Which is doubly exciting because we work together on top of her being my coach so it is easier for her to know what I'm talking about and going through. Plus she is a Third Culture Kid as well, so she understands many of my internal struggles and questions. On top of all this, she is a professionally trained Life Coach and has an amazing gifting and heart for coaching!! How amazing is this. Just like Michelle, she knows what questions to ask and how to challenge me with applications of what I am learning. God has got to be planning something big for my life with the amazing ways I have seen Him pouring into me and the lessons he has taught me. I am not perfect, I struggle a lot with a lot of things, but for some reason He has chosen to smile on me!! How loved I feel when I step back and look at my life. I can't wait for God to hand me the ticket to my destiny!! (reference from the book "TrueFaced")

So I would like to say thank you to God for these amazing women that He has placed in my life and allowed to pour into me. Michelle, Jen, Joanna, Amy, Keeley, and Sandy!! I can't wait to be able to pour into the lives of other girls and share with them a little bit of what God has done in my life and taught me.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

September Newsletter is here!!!

This is my beautiful desk!! I got a window panel put in yesterday so I can now see into the team work space. By bosses office is right behind me, I kind of block the entrance to her office. One of my lovely teammates gave me a plant for my desk too. So this is were all of the magic happens... haha. I really like my little space. As you can see from the picture I am still very busy multi-tasking, I go back and forth between the desktop computer and my laptop. I can get more done that way.

Attached is my newsletter for September. I hope you enjoy reading it.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

And God is good...

I have finished raising support!! Last week in a moment of pure joy and excitement I heard back from some friends about monthly support and finished off the last little bit that needed to be raised. You want to know the even more exciting part! God gave me a little bit more than what I needed. He has blessed me tremendously through this process of completely trusting Him for my support and provision!

I have just finished my first full week of work, I was able to report last friday to my assignment and right away I was handed several tasks to do. I am serving as the admin. assistant to the VP of Global Lead. Development. On Monday and Tuesday the GLD team had all day meetings to work on strategic planning for were we are. It was so amazing to finally be a part of the team and learn about what their vision and goals are for the ministry of developing leaders within Crusade. I had the job of getting lunch for both meetings and making sure all of the supplies needed (like a flip-chart and markers) were there. I also took notes for the meeting. It was a bit stressful being thrown right into it with not really knowing how to get the lunches or what to do about supplies. But God was good and it all worked out. It gave me a chance to really help the team, and to serve them so that they could focus on the planning. It was such a blessing to also hear about their hearts for God's work and to learn a little more about what goes on at the top level to really ensure that the rest of the Crusade ministry is continuing to grow and remain dynamic.

Then on Wednesday through Friday I was at the office getting settled in, starting on several jobs for Andrea (my boss) and getting a bunch of tech stuff worked out. I also started my New Staff Training program that they have for new staff and interns at Lake Hart (CCC headquarters). It will be a year long program, we meet as a group once a week to hear different talks, we have things to work on on our own, and then I meet with a coach also about once a week. It is exciting to know that I will get this great development this year. My coach is one of the ladies from my team, Sandy Fernandez. I really like here and I think we will get along great. She is a very experienced coach.

I was able to meet with Andrea on Thursday and I now have a long list of things to do for her. I have three trips to make travel plans for and several other jobs, including typing up some notes from meetings that she's had earlier this year. I felt like I was fighting against a steep learning curve all week. But I think things have started to level out a bit. And God has been teaching me so much through all of this. I hope to get my prayer letter sent out here in the next couple of days, and I will make sure to post it here as well.

I thank God each day for the blessings He has giving me and how He has brought me to this place of ministry after much struggle. I am nothing more than a broken clay jar waiting to be used by God.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Lunch with my new Team!

I didn't have my support raised unfortunately in time to report on my original deadline, Aug. 22nd. The team that I am joining, Global Leadership Development, was having its team retreat starting on the 22nd and my boss really wanted me to be able to join them for this time. But since I didn't have all of my support in yet I wasn't able to attend the meetings. I was able to join them though for lunch on Tuesday during one of their breaks to meet and get to know the team a bit.

I baked some cookies the day before to take with me to share with my new teammates, which they all loved. They said I was trying to butter them up and make them like me, and then they said it had worked. Hahaha. I think I'm really going to like being apart of this team and working with my boss, Andrea Buczynski. She's the VP for the Global Leadership Development team. She's really good at what she does and really nice too.

Also on my team are two other single ladies, Karen and Sandy. Sandy was in Korea this summer and she's really fun. The Chynoweth's are on the team as well. They are my parents age, they were in Africa when we were, just in a different country and they moved to the states a little before us I think. They actually live down the street from us and I used to go over to their house in High School for Wed. morning Bible studies. It is weird to think that I will now be working with them! Then there are the Rush's. They are another couple that I have know since we moved to Orlando. They used to work with my parents on the IUR team. Laura played soccer with their daughter when they were younger. My senior year I actually led a Bible study with their daughter in it. She was a freshman at the time. Both the Chynoweth's and the Rush's have known me since I was 11 years old!

Then there is a new couple on the team, the Spencer's. They just moved to Orlando from East Asia, they have three kids, the oldest is a sophomore or junior in High School I think. It was my first time meeting them. They seem really nice and I Iook forward to getting to know them better. I think there are maybe one or two other people on the team, but they weren't at the meetings.

I found out that I have my own desk waiting for me at the office!! I have a desk! And I get to decorate it. I think it is actually more like a little cubicle space right next to Andrea's along VP Row (that's what they are calling it know). They just rearranged the whole office area and all the VP's are now in offices along the window with their assistants right next to them. Then the team space is right across this little hall space. I'll have to take some pictures when I go in next time and show you what it looks like. I can't wait to be able to set up my space!!

So I ate lunch with my team and they asked all kinds of questions about me. I felt a little like I was on trail!! (not really, but I don't do well when in larger groups when someone just asks me to share about myself, I prefer direct questions and more one-on-one conversations). So I had them ask me more specific questions and tried to answer those. I felt comfortable though, many of these people I have known for more than 11 years or atleast meet a couple of times before.

Before I left after lunch they prayed for me and my support. It is so encouraging to know that they really want me on their team, they are praying for me, and they can't wait till I can start work. They almost seem more excited about it than I am!! haha.

God's amazing provision

These past couple of weeks have been a bit of a rollercoaster ride, both emotionally and spiritually. I am still in the process of raising my support for STINT. The support trip to Spartanburg went okay, not as much support raising took place as I had hoped. I have had a super hard time getting appointments set up, even here in Orlando. But one thing through all of the ups and downs of the past few weeks, shoot, the past couple of months, that I have always been able to come back to is the knowledge that God will provide. Even when times seem dark, I can trust what God has shown me in the light. Isn't it amazing that no matter what God does not change, he is steadfast and his promises are sure.

I have definitely grown a lot through this process of letting go and giving everything up to God. Because that is all I can do. No matter how hard I work, how many phone calls I make and how many letters I send, the only way my support will come in is to completely rely on God and His provision. It's funny, but as I take these steps of faith to trust Him with my support and ministry, I find it easier to trust Him with other areas of my life as well. I am definitely still a major work in progress though.

But as concerns my support, a miracle took place this week. For weeks now my support has been crawling, and I mean crawling in. But this last week I finally made it to 64%, and then in the space of a day God brought in 10% more. So know I am at 74.5%!!! I only have about $560 a month left to raise. Please, if you are reading this, pray that God will bring in the rest of it quickly, and that I will be faithful to keep working hard on it. It is so tempting to just give up and rest for a while, looking at what has been accomplished. But I have only one week left to be at a more stable point so that I can report and start work. I would truly love to be at 100% by the end of this week. I know that God can do it, he has already done so much, and He is the God of Miracles!!

So here it is, God is our Provider. He clothes the lily's of the field, He provides food for the birds, will He not also provide for our needs, whom He loves more than the lilies or the birds. Will He not also provide for the dreams that He has given us, and show us the path to take to follow His calling.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Support trip!!

I'm in Spartanburg, South Carolina right now. This is the place where I have spent the last four years of my life, going to College. I have grown to love this place, and it's quiet town feel. I have missed the people here. It's different though coming back in the summer for just a short time. I am here for a couple of reasons, one is to visit my Grandparents for a few days, and the second is to try to make some more connections and work on support raising for my internship in the Fall.

God has been doing some pretty amazing stuff in my life this summer through all of this support raising process and through my recent trip to S. Korea!! I can't even begin to describe all that He is doing, I do not understand all of it yet. He has begun a healing process in my life as I have begun to walk down the road of completely trusting Him with who I am and with my dreams and life. Some days it is almost to much, someone along the way forgot to tell me that refining by the fire hurts this much. But it is sooo worth every tear and every moment of vulnerability and pain. All along the way I have seen his glory, seen his grace and his love in ever increasing measures. It is a joy and a better understanding of who He is and who He has created me to be that I would not trade for anything. Not even for an easier road.

He has been showing me a lot of this as I traveled in the car to get to Spartanburg and as I have been here. If you read this, would you please pray with me that God continues to humble my heart, make me like a child so I can trust him more, and continue the healing of my heart. Please also pray that he would work in miraculous ways and bring in the rest of my support by August 22nd. I know this is where he wants me for this next year, and I am trusting that he will get me there or show me another path.

It never ceases to amaze me how much God truly loves me and desires to fill my every dream! He knows better than I ever could just what I need each and every moment of the day!

Monday, July 30, 2007

God is SOOO GOOD!!!

This is a new thing I just got, I am hoping to use this site to keep people updated on what God does in my life in the next year and where he takes me. I have posted some things from my old Blog. Just so you have a small idea of where I am at or where I've been. I hope to tell you soon all about my recent trip to South Korea! Enjoy reading!!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

I'm Back... and much has changed.
So I haven't written on this blog in over a year really. A lot has happened in that time. A lot has changed in my life. For a while I actually forgot my password to this blog so I couldn't do anything with it. You may notice that I have changed the look a little. It is a time of new beginnings and fresh starts for me.
I have graduated from college finally and currently have no plans to do any further schooling, at least not for this next year. I have started the process of joining staff with Campus Crusade for Christ and will be doing an internship for this next year at their Headquarters here in Orlando. I am excited about this opportunity but a little scared of all the new things to come. This summer I have started raising my support for this internship and taken a huge trip. I was blessed by God with the amazing chance to travel with my parents to South Korea for a Historic Global Student Missions conference put on by CCC. CM2007!!! This conference and the experiences I was able to have there while serving with 150 international volunteers to help work the conference have changed and shaped my perspective on what the Lord is doing around the world! We live in an exciting time, so much more has been accomplished for the gospel in my generation than all those coming before. The fields are truly ripe for harvest and Jesus is calling forth his laborers to send out into the world. And I am raising my hand saying, "Send me Lord, Here am I." But what this will look like in my life, and where this will take me has yet to be seen. It is a journey that will bring more change, more adventure.
God has continued to keep me single for now. There are days when this is a struggle that causes me to run more to Him. There are other days though when I know his love more than ever and feel satisfied with whatever he has for me. It is still the desire of my heart and my prayer to Him that he, in his infinite timing and wisdom, would bring a man into my life. I strongly desire to be married one day and have a family. But most importantly I want to be able to serve in ministry who ever God has for me. Until that time comes though I need to learn ever more how to be satisfied with him alone and how to serve him well in my single days! Father I pray that I would be an instrument, a tool, in your hands, a willing servant, no matter where you have me or what you have me doing!
Please pray with me also that as I develop my team of ministry partners, both prayer and financial partners, that I would have a right perspective and that I would always trust God to provide what sometimes seems so impossible! He is more than I could ever dream for and all that my Heart and life truly desires and he has called me to share Him with those around me, those who do not know Him! How truly blessed am I.
Thank you for reading this, and may God truly touch your life as well and fill you with His love. As my new friend Tae puts it "I hope you live by faith every single day/// walk with his Promise… may His peace and wisdom be with You!!"

Sunday, March 05, 2006

This is my new roommate and I at her Sophomore Ring Ceremony. Isn't she pretty!! It is a lot more fun having a roommate than living by yourself. Let me just say the the first part of this semester and last fall was rather lonely. A roommate helps make a room feel full and alive. The fact that we look alike is really only a strange coincidence. A rather funny one though. Just thought I'd share this picture with everyone. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Reflections

Wow I haven't updated this thing in a really long time. There is so much that has happened in my life since this past fall. I will try to list a few of the big things. These past couple of months has been a time of many big decisions. I finished off last semester with a bang pulling all A's in my classes but feeling frustrated and ready to be done with college at the same time. I even went so far as to calculate that if I pushed it a little for the next two semesters I could graduate early and be done in Dec. '06. But this of course would cut my senior year of college short and I would also not be able to do many of the things that I love doing because I would not be there for the full year. So after some prayer and much thought and the much needed Christmas break I decided against this option. But one good thing has come out of calculating credit hours and classes needed and stuff. I learned that I can take the bare minimum credit hours each semester required to stay a full time student and still have just over enough to graduate. Plus for my major I only have to take one class a semester, for my minor I just need one class a semester and that leaves all my other classes each semester for me to have some fun with. My only other two requirements are one more honors course and one more general science class for GEP credit. I am working on my junior paper for history this spring and will do my senior history paper in the fall. This leaves the rest of my college career relatively pressureless, academically speaking and I can take classes for things that I am interested in and really enjoy. Like this semester I am taking Drawing 1 so I can learn to draw, and I love it.
I have often found it hard for me to pick just one specific area of study that I love or feel more strongly about than another. History is definitely both a joy and something that I have a talent in. But I also just as strongly enjoy Physics and scientific thinking. And on a totally different end of the spectrum I also really enjoy art and music and appreciate greatly the development of these fields. I feel a theme for my life could be balance or well roundedness; I strive to use and exorcise both sides of my brain! This is probably why I enjoy history so much because it is able to bring a lot of these things together. You can study the history of almost anything and in the process learn a great deal about it. But I didn't come into college wanting to do history, nope; I came in wanting to do Interior Design. And in high school I had strong thoughts about possibly going into the military and doing nuclear physics and engineering with the Navy or being a navy pilot. I even took the ASVAB just to see what I would get and I made a 96. Probably the most fun standardized test I have ever taken. Thank you Dad, for teaching me some mechanics and about cars and helping me to get my HAM radio license.
But see this is where I start having problems, I love and have a little bit of knowledge about a lot of things, just enough to get by decently in a conversation or on a test. I have an uncanny ability to remember stuff that I have read about, even in casual reading. But there is not one thing that sticks out in my life that I love doing more or am more talented or good at than anything else I can do if I put my mind to it. History, as I start on this junior paper and through the enthusiasm and mentorship of my professor has slowly begun to stand out from the rest and be something that I can actually see myself pursuing, maybe even to teach. I still don’t feel a strong enough calling to it to go to grad school or anything though, but I could see myself taking this training and being a pseudo historian!! That would be fun.
Of course the biggest calling on my life is to go into full time missions overseas. I know that this is what the Lord has called me to. But what I am supposed to do in the mean time or the path that my life will take to get there is still very hazy. There are so many things that I have yet to experience and dreams yet to be fulfilled or tried out. I long to be married, have a family, and be the supporter of my husbands ministry, where ever and what ever that may be. To be a mother and to be a strong role model is a desire that I pray that the Lord will grant me someday. But for the moment I know that I have a lot of learning and growing to do before I am ready for the task. So I wait patiently as slowly the path before me becomes clear with each step of faith that is taken.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

First Love...

How easy it is to lose your "first love."
"We are warned in Revelation 2:4 about losing our 'first love.' We should guard against taking our love relationship for granted. The solution is given in Revelation 2:5 to 'remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.' " ~Nancy Wilson in First Love.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Pinkies up ladies! Aubusien girls this is my shout out to you!! I can't wait for Christmas when the tea parties can begin again!!
DBSP '05

"The heart has its reasons that reason knows not of." -Blaise Pascal


Reflected in the beauty of the sunset is the splendor of God! Every moment changing, each second a radiant display of colour and light that takes your breath away.

10 weeks spent immersed in the Love of God, surrounded by 77 others who glorify His name. Learning and teaching each other about His grace. Sharing together times that will change the course of your life. Being accountable and holding others accountable. Seeing the sunrise over the ocean and sunset over the river.

Having a blast and sharing the Love of God with others at the same time. Slicing meat, making beds, serving customers, saving lives, and cutting grass all for the Glory of God. Teaching Sunday School, being adopted by a church family, and growing together as you serve the community as the Body of Christ.

D-Group times, FD times, ministry teams that stretch you, going out to eat together, thrift store shopping, taking walks on the beach, playing soccer and volleyball together, dancing the night away in the most ridiculous outfits.

Family group dinners spent listening to Rick laugh at everything, except Sarah's jokes!

Learning to juggle time and allowing God to fill every aspect of your life, a lesson that will carry you for the rest of your life.

Endless hours spent sharing from your heart with close friends, praying together, singing together and learning together.

Going to work in the mornings (or afternoon's) and knowing that God is with you and that you are there to shine His light to the people you work with. Seeing them changed and their faces brighter because of the love that you share with them.

Going to a Nascar race, sitting on the SuperStretch, getting rained on, joining the betting pool for a dollar and getting number 19, who comes in 12th place, watching the best fireworks show of your life, and getting back at 3:30 in the morning when you have to be at church at 9am!

Prayer on the Beach at 6am, worship on the beach at 10pm.

Staff Scavanger Hunt at the Boardwalk!

Meeting and forming friendships with some of the most Godly and awesome guys you'll ever meet and seeing God work through them in powerful ways!

This and sooooo much more was my summer. The best summer of my life, one that I will never forget. Friendships that will always be dear to my heart and times that will continue to shape me for the rest of my life. God has showed me His love, His grace, His Joy, and His forgiveness this summer. He has revealed to me thru His Spirit his hand that is upon my life and has shown me how he has been with me and in my heart since I was 5 years old. He truly has never left me nor forsaken me. Even in my times of doubt, my times of rebellion and my times of brokenness He has been working in my heart. Molding me and teaching me, creating me into the Woman of God that He has made me to be. Everything that He has done in my life up until now, and everything that He continues to do has been preparing me to do the work that He has called me to, to be able to stand up for His name and spread His truth and grace to those around me whom He has placed in my path. I know this now and I am willing and prepared to answer this call!

My Summer!!! Daytona Beach Summer Project!!! I will never be the same again!!!

"The heart has its reasons that reason knows not of." -Blaise Pascal

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Two Songs of the Day that express how I feel right now...

Alone
by LADS
I am alone in the darkness
Can You hear me now
Are You the same
Or are You different somehow
Can You reach me
Can I be sure that You won't hurt me
If I let You in
Are You the same
Or are You different somehow
Can I trust You
-
If I gave You my heart
If I gave You my soul
Would You take me apart
Would You make me whole
-
Do You know my name
When the tears fall are You there to feel the pain
Can You reach me here
Can you give me what I'm looking for
Can You take away the fear
Can I trust You
-
They say that You could come and meet me
Are You really there
Are You the same or are You different somehow
Can You love me
-
If I gave You my heart
If I gave You my soul
Would You take me apart
Would You make me whole
-
Do You know my name
When the tears fall are You there to feel the pain
Can You reach me here
Can You give me what I'm looking for
Can You take away the fear
Can I trust You
--
--
Coming Home
by LADS
There was a day when I could say
That I'll be alright
But I'm not alright today
There was a time when I could find
You right by my side
But You're not here beside me now
-
And I don't know how
I walked out that door
To the stone cold world
Left You waiting for me to come home
-
There was a day when I could say
That it doesn't matter
But it matters now
There was a time when I could find
A million excuses
But there's nothing for me to say
-
Except I'm away
Away from the voice that's been calling me
And I know that it's time to come home
-
I'm coming home
Home to Your open arms
Home, forgive me I've gone too far
I'm coming home
I've tried but I just can't live
Without You any more
-
I thought that I could live my life
Much better without You
So I turned away
And it seems I chased the dreams
I thought that I wanted
Without You around
-
But it's all fallen down
I'm left with the sound of my emptiness
Now I'm scared to give all of my life away
Still I come, I'm undone in this broken state
And I yearn for Your love that I don't deserve
Now it's time for Your child to come home
-
I'm coming home
Home to Your open arms
Home, forgive me I've gone too far
I'm coming home
I've tried but I just can't live
Without You any more

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Finals are coming up soon, one week of classes left. That means that Summer Project is that much closer. I'm beginning to get more excited about it but I know I can't let myself really think about it until I am finished with school. I got all my support in, which is such a blessing from God!! But in all of this great stuff thats going on around me and happening, I really don't feel all that happy. I'm not joyful right now. I really feel like all this college stuff is rather pointless in the grand scheme of things. Why can't I get on with living my life right now instead of having to wait two more years before I can travel the world and go into the mission field full time. I guess I'm just having a lot of doubts right now about what I'm supposed to be doing right now. I'm starting to doubt my major and the school I chose. I'm wondering if it's too late to change anything or if it's all pointless now. I'm unsure of whether my doubts are even founded or if it's just me going thru a phase again. I guess I'm just disatisfied with alot of things right now and one of those things is myself and my walk with God.
It will all be over soon, whether I survive it in one piece or not. And then I'll have an awesome summer and God will refresh me, because I'm tired of where I'm at right now, and I don't want to stay here. It's just a little hard to see my way out at times.
God please hold my hand for a little bit longer... lift me up out of the mess I'm in... of the mess I've made of my heart and my soul... piece me back together again to serve your purposes and your Glory!!

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Your True Birth Month Is January



Loyal
Social
Logical
Easily jealous
Loves children
Rather reserved
Highly attentive
Likes to criticize
Needs close friends
Ambitious and serious
Smart, neat and organized
Hardworking and productive
Loves to teach and be taught
Quiet unless excited or tensed
Sensitive and has deep thoughts
Knows how to make others happy
Searches for the greatest romance
Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses