College? Am I ready? 

Do you ever fear the unknown? Or look ahead and see a huge mountain you think looks impossible to climb? Let's even bring it down to an everyday occurance where you are running and a mile ahead is a huge hill you will have to run up, but your energy level is wearing down quickly. Do you run the flat mile in dread of the hill that is to come, or do you enjoy the flat mile to find by the time you get to the bottom of the hill your energy level has increased enough to make it?
As I was running this morning, I knew that ahead of me was a huge hill (as huge as they are in Texas) I was going to have to run up. I was already getting tired and began to dread the hill. Then it dawned on me, that I was wasting time worrying about the hill and not enjoying the part that was easy to run. By the time I got to the hill I realized I had enough energy to make it to the top.
Such is life.
We look ahead and see a task (whether it be conquering a sin, following where the Lord is leading, or unexpected trials that may arise) that seems impossible. We began to doubt our capability and God's strength way before time even comes to attempt the task. The doubt quickly turns to fear and worry ( "and which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life's span" Luke 12:25) only to hold us back from enjoying what was set before us that very day.
By the time I was running up the hill (that I had dreaded) I thought even if I wanted to walk some or stop to rest, I was still going to make it. I think about tough times in life where we are struggling to keep up and struggling to enjoy the life God has so graciously given us, and think about if we wait till tough times come God will give us exactly what we need to make it to the top again. It may be hard, and we may lose our breath, or stop and rest, BUT we will make it. The only other option is turn around walk down the hill and go farther and farther away from our "home". If we take the tough times and make it through we are well on our way home, but if we give up and turn around we will not make it there until we decide, with God we can handle the scary things that lie ahead. Just like running today, I could have chosen not to run up the hill, but if I hadn't I would never had made it back to my home. :) So, I guess what God taught me today is don't look ahead to the changes and challenges of life in fear and dread, because when we get to the bottom of the hill we will find we have the strength we need to make it to the top. And when we make it to the top of the hill in running, what a relief, what an awesome feeling to look down that hill and think....."I am glad that is over, but boy do I feel good for doing it." Paul was so smart(I am sure he would appreciate the compliment, huh? ;) ) to compare this life to a race. "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us RUN WITH ENDURANCE THE RACE THAT IS SET BEFORE US. Fixing our eyes on JESUS, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the JOY set before HIM endured the cross despising shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1,2 .
Also, I learned that even if running up the hill means walking for a few minutes, it doesn't hinder the fact that you will still make it to the top, but it just might take a little while longer. Some things take a short amount of time and some things may take a longer amount of time, but through it all when you allow God to work, you will make it to the top and understand what James means when he says, " Consider it all joy my brethern, when you encounter various trials, kowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete lacking in nothing." James 1:2,3.
Whatever it is that is causes us to be paralyzed from serving God with our whole heart due to fear of the unknown, remember that when time comes to deal with it, God will give us the strength to do so!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't He awesome?

This is an e-mail that one of my best friends sent me. I read it and it is really amazing and applies to many things in life. But right now I think it especially applies to what I am about to face. In my mind I see this really big Mountain: College! It's a big change and a huge step. I don't know if something is wrong with me or what. But every time I think about it the thoughts going through my head are not: I'm ready for this... Bring it on... Or... This is going to be the best time of my life I can't wait... My thoughts resemble something more along the lines of... Will I survive... How do I know this is right for me... Will I enjoy it or end up doing something I hate... Will people understand me there like my friends and family do here... Am I crazy I'm just a little girl barely five feet tall who likes kids books, playing with toys, drawing and being a kid... I can't pay taxes, juggle a job and school, plus social stuff... I can barely handle just one. My goals in life are to serve God, get married, be a stay at home mom. I don't know how the business world works. These are the thoughts going through my head when I think about college. I get scared, I'm worried. Will I be able to keep up my grades in order to keep up my scholarships? Only one person know's the answers to all these questions and what my heart wants to know. Am I going to be able to trust Him enough to get over this mountain... Or will I get desperately home sick and run home to mommy after the first term never to leave home again. I'm scared of growing up... sometimes I wonder if I can handle it all. But then I remember that I don't have to and that God will be there with me through it all. I know it will all happen so fast and I won't notice till years after it's happened but that doesn't make it any less scary. Part of all this deep thinking and fear is brought on by the fact that I will be 18 in about a month and then I'll get to vote. Part of me is excited but part of me thinks Am I really old enough? I don't know what I'm doing... Anyways I hope you enjoyed the e-mail and all my rambling. It really made me think. I think I'm going to go talk to God some instead of my Blog cause I'm sure you guys are tired of reading this by now. Thank you for sticking with me if you did. To let you in on a little secret for reading this far... I always cry when I get scared and think about the future. Which I think I'm going to go do know and get out of my system. I'm in need of a cleansing. Crying is a really healthy thing I believe. Well good night ya'll